my spare bath makeover...finally

You know what I do when my husband is out of town? I do a reno. Yeah, because isn't that what most people do? Bless my husband. He just knows and doesn't even bother asking anymore. He just comes back to a new room.
So, here is what I came up with. I use Polyvore. Basically, you have an unlimited budget and have access to all things interior design. It's Heaven, that's basically what it is. Basically...there, I just wanted to use that word again.

via: Polyvore

(Side note: This gives me an idea as to how the colors and pieces all work together, but I never execute it 100%. It usually looks pretty close, but I tweak as I go.)

So, here is the good, the bad, and the ugly. The bad and ugly came in the form of a texture job that needed to be removed. When we moved into our home, the wall paper looked like this:

Horrendous wallpaper compliments of 1994. You're not at all welcome.

I had originally thought that I could simply knock down the high spots with the tool below & sand it smooth. Wrong Kimosabe. Due to the thickness of the texture, and the anal-retentiveness of the scraper (ahem, that would be me), I had to take it all the way down to the sheetrock. Way way down.

Just getting started. Nope, not working.

Added a little water. Working like a dream...

...like a very bad dream. A nightmare, actually. 

The question is: who doesn't love baby blue and pink shiny wallpaper?

M'kay. So, 12+ hours, a slipped disc in my back, and a brand new vocabulary full of words I have already repented for, I began the "fun" part.

This involved lots of math, pennies, and a saw.

Now, here is the good: instead of using real shiplap, I chose 1/4" plywood sheets from Lowe's. One sheet of plywood is 4' x 8' and I think I ended up using 5 sheets. I had them rip them into 6" strips, so if you are a math genius like me, you'd know that you end up with 8 planks per sheet. Math is hard. I knew that the walls were neither plumb, nor level, so I just started at the top of the sink backsplash and made sure it was level. You can always caulk any little gap between your backsplash and first board. From there, I just cut them to the right length, used a couple of pennies to create a uniform gap between the planks, and used a nail gun to shoot some nails into the studs.

Halfway there, on one wall and waiting for the electrician to show. I may or may not have had a drink at the point.

So, if you know a thing or two about 1990's home construction, you might know that these fabulous light fixtures were all the rage...

Craptacular...totally.

Well, when we bought the house, it came down immediately, and was replaced by this one in the picture below: 

Lovely, and for sale if you are interested... 

I really wanted a light over both mirrors, and I am trying to create a more "farmhouse" vibe, so I decided on these from Lamps Plus.

Currently only $50 with free shipping y'all!

After the electrician came to rewire for 2 lights, I finished the back wall, hung my lights, and started on the small side walls. Because of the 1/4" wood that I added to the walls, I had to put spacers behind the wall outlets so the covers would be flush. No big whoop.

Spacers for the switches. I actually thought to take a pic. 

Alright y'all, I apologize for the lack of pictures. I admit that I am not very good at documenting the process, but I can show an after like nobody's business.

Goodbye 1990s and hellooo shiplap! I could cry. 

Just take it in.

Take it all in.

I took these today after a few months of tweaking.

This part of the bathroom has wallpaper that is embossed to look like wainscoting. It's great, but doesn't do well in the bathroom because of the moisture. I plan on giving this it's own shiplap makeover when I recover from this little DIY.

God bless 'Merica

Since this bath doubles as a guest bath, I didn't want it to scream "kids", but I also didn't want it to be too "adult". When deciding on the wall art, I had a very specific idea of what I wanted and these fit the bill.
The one above is from Antique Farmhouse. Colorful + the South + it's a map = Winning!!!

"Bless your heart". It practically jumped off of the shelf and into my hands.
The sign, the basket, and the metal truck are all from, let's say it together, "Hobby Lobby!!!" 

..as in this sign. I think I need an intervention. The colors in the "adventure" sign were perfect.
And it had arrows and foxes. Shut up and take my money. 

So, let me give you the DL on the whole reno process:
I truly believe this is a moderately easy DIY project for anyone. Just measure twice, cut once. Use your level. Be one with the nail gun. Make sure small children aren't around when you have to scrape off texture. In fact, it is best to just burn your house down if that is your only option.

Sources:
barn lights: Lamps Plus
mirrors: Target
faucet, door hardware, paint, wood: Lowes
wall paint color: Custom mix (close to 1/2 formula Lyndhurst Gallery Beige)
cabinet color: Dark Cavern by Behr (again, I used Valspar paint)
cabinet pulls: etsy seller "fantasycottage"
shower curtain: West Elm
black and white towels: Target
white and grey hand towels: HomeGoods
artwork: black and white chalkboard look artwork, "Bless Your Heart", "Your Adventure Awaits" all from Hobby Lobby
metal truck, black & white striped basket with fern, deer head, wall hooks: Hobby Lobby
map in black distressed frame: Antique Farmhouse

If you have any questions about the project, feel free to post a comment and I will get back with you!
Thanks for checking it out.

Worst Blogger Ever & I May or May Not be Married to Batman

I claim it. I'm the worst blogger ever. Sorry y'all. Life happens. Kids happen. Messy happens.

I have to be honest, I am struggling with this phase of life/parenting/wifing/friending/housekeeping. I don't like to struggle. No one does, but it makes me ache to the core when life seems a little very out of control. You know those phases...at least, I think you do. Maybe you are one of those people who never struggle with:

• having a clean house
• spending quality time with your kids
• spending quality time with your husband 
• having dinner prepared most evenings
• keeping plants alive
• balancing the checkbook
• keeping animals alive 
• playdates
• nurturing friendships
• taking a shower
• smelling nice
• brushing your hair

If you are one of those people, trust me, you are not. You just think you are. Even Martha Stewart is not, although she would like people to think so...but she's been to prison, so, there's that....

In the "littles" stage, you are lucky to get a shower, and wear clothes without various body fluids on them, and get a solid 4 hours of sleep. It is paradise. No, trust me...I have a pre-teen, it is paradise. The worst that a baby could do to you is unload whatever body fluid they have in their tiny little baby arsenal and puke/pee/poop/sneeze it all over you. You can wash that off, but you CAN'T wash off sass. Well, you can't technically wash it off, but scrubbing the sass out of their mouth with a bar of soap might be worth a shot.

I miss babies. I miss their smell, and their lack of vocabulary that includes phrases such as, "whatever" and "this tastes gross". I miss the fact that you can put them in one place and they don't move unless you move them. They can't storm off when you tell them to clean their room...because they don't leave their socks and candy wrappers strewn about like ticker tape. "Look mom! It's like confetti" - only not at all. Rude.

I even miss toddlers. Yes, many years ago (specifically when my children turned three) I would never have believed those words would ever come out of my mouth. I was wailing and gnashing my teeth at the horror that had become of my precious baby (babies). Who ARE these kids? What has possessed them to act this way? Why are they on the floor and flailing like an injured seal? Oh my word y'all. They almost broke me.
Now, I struggle between letting my children have their independence (which typically ends with me clenching my fists, and saying, "Please clean that up", or "Please put that fire out", or even "How did you manage to get that in there?" through clenched teeth), and making sure they don't inflict serious bodily injury to themselves and/or their siblings...or pets.
No one told me how hard parenting is.
Let me rephrase that: No one told me how hard intentional parenting is.
Anyone can be a parent. Not everyone is a good parent. Good parenting is like juggling knives, while balancing on a rubber ball with one leg, and your hair is on fire, then someone throws you a flaming torch. Yeah, it's just like that, only harder. You have to think ahead of your kid. It is essential to your survival. You will be going along like, "This is easy. My kids are amazing. Perfect even. Parenting is SO easy." Then, BAM... you're suddenly like, "What the what is going on? Who are these little people? Why are they trying to make me insane? Have they lost their hearing? They don't listen to me. What have I done to deserve this?"
Before I go on, let me be perfectly clear: I adore my kids. They are precious. I love them with every single cell in my body, and I would literally take a bullet for them, or an arrow, or even 10 minutes in a room with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Well...maybe not, but the point is, I love them. Even when they make me want to curl up in the fetal position in bed for days, cry my eyes out, and eat a gallon of Blue Bell, I never ever stop loving them - not even a little bit.
But parenting them is a full-time, not-so-glamourous, sometimes torturous, stress and anxiety evoking, terrifying, yet gratifying and amazing job. It often amazes me at how awful and wonderful it can be all at the same time.
I couldn't do this without an amazing husband who is on my team. We are like Batman and Robin, except he doesn't wear a mask or really tight pants. Well, not all the time. I also have The Lord. Without the leading of the Holy Spirit, the peace I have in my soul that makes me know that He is the one in control, and that I am not responsible for all of the out comes of all of the lives of all of my children, I would work myself to death to perfectly parent them...and would fail immensely. I would feel utterly defeated and hopeless. Even with this peace, I still struggle.
So, I admit it..I am the worst blogger ever. Sometimes I feel like he worst parent ever, the worst friend ever, the worst wife ever, the worst housekeeper ever, and the worst teacher ever. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning, my kids have more grace for me than I deserve, and my husband may or may not be Batman. Have you ever seen them in the same room? Coincidence? I think not.
Have a great y'all...and remember, you are awesome and we are all in this together...

Jenn 

fixer upper, cockroaches, jiplap, and yoda

Ask me how long that "no sugar" thing lasted. Go ahead, ask. None of your beeswax...how rude.
Anywho, have y'all seen the newest season of Fixer Upper? Did you see Chip eat a cockroach? OH MAH GAH. Please Chip, no. Just, no. You are my favorite t.v. husband. You really are. You make me laugh. Your work is amazing. You are married to an angel. Please, for the love, do not eat insects ever again. You have scarred me for life.

Ew Chip, EW!

So, can we talk Fixer Upper? Chip & JoJo have, yet again, turned a sow's ear into a silk purse. If you don't know what that means, well then, you aren't from the south. I am always amazed at the vision that Joanna has. That JoJo, she has The Force y'all. She's like Yoda. A Southern Yoda. In the south, she'd probably be called "Yoder"...but I digress...
Lookie here...

Where do I begin? The shiplap (or as my husband calls it, "jiplap" because he thinks he's hilarious and knows it makes me twitch...bless his heart)? The subway tile? The open pipe shelving? The dreamy island made from reclaimed wood (by Harp Design Co.)? Yes to all of the above.

Then we have the dining area with it's walls and shelving and walls and chandelier and those walls. I like the walls. Really. That wall color is Sherwin Williams "Dovetail". I want to paint every single wall in my house this color, and possibly the barn, the exterior of my home, my dog, and my car. It looks somewhat similar to what I currently have in my home (Benjamin Moore's Revere Pewter), but maybe with a little less grey and a little more taupe (By the way, the word "taupe" is like a combination of "tan" and "nope". While we are talking about words that I have an opinion on, "moist" is the grossest of gross words.).

And this shelving. Looks simple enough, but I don't think my paperbacks of Beverly Cleary and An Idiots Guide to Pick-Your-Title would look quite as swanky. I guess I'd have to go raid my grandma's bookshelves, and maybe her old moonshine bottles. Just kidding, my grandma doesn't drink. She is quite a pool shark though.  

And OHHHH the jiplap shiplap. Be still my fluttering heart. I have a fireplace that this would look just spectacular on. It was ugly shiny brick, and I have painted it white. It definitley needs some shiplap though, and a better mantle, and Joanna to come style it for me. Not too much to ask.

So, are y'all tuning in tonight? What will Chip eat? What baby farm animal will make it's debut? How many times will Joanna say the word "shiplap"? Will Shorty make an appearance? How many times will Chip be topless? 

By the way, now that the weather is nice, I hope to get back into the workshop this week and paint some more. I have several pieces that are THHHHIS close (imagine your thumb and pointy finger mere millimeters apart from each other) to being done. Oh, and the round pedestal table in my shop is $100 off!!! We're stacking 'em deep and sellin' 'em cheap :)

Y'all tune in to HGTV tonight at 8:00 (Texas time) and let me know what you think. You can follow me on Twitter @linenandgrey1. I might just post of pic of my goat and me for the Fixer Upper contest. I mean, who doesn't love a picture of a baby goat? No one I tell ya'. No one!

first post of 2015 (I have no clever title because SUGAR WITHDRAWALS)

Well, it's over. The holidays are behind us and we must all return to life as usual. I am fairly certain many of you had holidays much like mine. Lots of sleeping in, lots of sugar, lots of kids all up in your grill every minute of every day, and zero routine. All of these things are a recipe for disaster upon re-entry to "normal life". We are diving in head first tomorrow morning. Alarms are being set, lunches are being made, mid-morning cocktails may or not make an appearance. Just kidding (no matter what you may have heard).
So, as you can tell, I have mixed feelings about the post-holiday schedule. BOO to alarm clocks, YAY to children outta my face. I do love my kids, but the constant barrage of new toys + lots of sugar + no schedule = grumpy mom who is totally over it in all of the ways.
So, since we are talking about changes, did you make a New Year's resolution (or as I affectionately call it "what you will be feeling guilty about completely giving up on by mid-February")? Don't feel bad, I have tried to lose weight for about 15 years now. Stretchy pants and carbs love me more than skinny jeans and celery apparently. Also, closing in on 40 is a whole different level of "what in the world is going on with my body?". It's okay. I am just going to do the best I can. I got a Fitbit, and threw out the Christmas candy. I'm not going to make checks my body can't cash (and my body is currently overdrawn).
Sorry, it's the candy withdrawals. It's been like 2 hours. This is going to be rough, man.
Speaking of furniture, I have lots of pieces I am working on right now, but it is going to be like -217 degrees for the next couple of days, and the last piece I worked on in the freezing cold didn't take the paint well, so it will have to wait. I will also be detoxing from sugar, waking up before dawn, and getting back to our routine, so I will need all of my strength and body heat to survive. I'll get back in the shop later in the week when it doesn't feel like the Arctic Tundra outside. You know us Texans, we can power through the blistering August heat like nobody's business, but people lose their minds when it dips below freezing. I am trying to prepare myself for the "Arctic Blast" reports breaking in to my regularly scheduled programs for the next couple of days.
That's all I've got. I have to do some Downton binge watching now considering I am about one-and-a-half season behind and the new one starts tonight.